100 Bad Comics
2: Emo Boy
Large Man: Can I get a cheeseburger?
Cashier: We are out of cheese.
5: Your mother
Darkfeathers: Hey, what if-
Other Feathry: Your mother.
Other Feathry: Sssssshhh.
Other Feathry: Your MOTHER.
Lady: Aww it is a pretty snakeperson.
Lady: Aah she is eating my baby!
Man: I always forget snakepeople do that
Lady: Lamia et my baby!
Man: Sarcasm is the lowest form of humour.
Lady: Correction: Self-referential humour is lower.
Boy: Hahaha, penis!
Fairy: Manuel! Manuel! You must come with me and save fairyland!
11: A Clue
#1 Normal Scene
#2 Something Happens
16: Formula Again
Large man: Toot toot, make way for the freedom bus!
Small man: Road's closed.
Large man: WHY DO YOU HATE FREEDOM?!
18: Webcomic Spoilers
Author: I have a webcomic, and I would like to say:
Author: I give up partway through and entirely give up on updating it!
19: MY Webcomic
Me: I'm drawing this crap instead of drawing for my webcomic.
21: Fresh Prince
Narration: I was a world-famous circus clown touring through Brasil.
Narration: We performed to sell-out crowds every day.
Narration: But I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said:
Mom: You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
Ghost 1: Wow, being a ghost is bloody brilliant!
Ghost 2: I'll say!
Ghost 2: Check out this sweet move!
24: Ghosts Again
Ghost 1: Ghosts are totally sweet.
Ghost 2: I hear that!
Ghost 3: 'sup guys?
Ghost 1: Yeah, let's get out of here
Ghost 3: Dude, come on!
Ghost 3: Jerks.
25: Bishie Fishie
Officer: All rise. The right and honourable Judge Bishie Fishie presiding.
Fangirls: Sugoi! Kawaii! Squee! Bishounen!
28: God I don't even know
Old man 1: Nowadays there would be funny dialogue here.
Old man 2: Back in my day we didn't have punchlines.
Old man 1: Uphill both ways.
Old man 2: I'm tired.
31: Shark Formula
Delta: What's in the box?!
Delta: That last panel contained spoilers.
Silphy: Rupert! Rupert!
Silphy: Guess what I'm doing?
Rupert: You can't do nyoro~n in three panels, you massive sack of failure.
Man: Argh, it is too hot!
Man: Time to go punch out the sun!
Narration: Moral: Humans cannot breathe in space! Also it wasn't that hot.
Angry man: Nobody should have to talk to a robot!
Other man: I concur.
Jake: I'm the trickster god and I love possessing Sky-God's daughter and making out with Sea-God's son!
Bird-girl: So yeah that's pretty much why everyone hates tricksters
Jinx: Yeah, I know, but-
Bird-girl: I HOPE I DIDN'T JUST RUIN RANDOM ENCOUNTER FOR YOU
Boy: I don't understand how I got sunburnt - I took a hat with me!
Man: Maybe you should've worn it, fagmo.
Narration: Suddenly, and hilarious non-sequitor!
39: Well it worked once
Boy: Wow, Merlin really can't draw on model.
Man: Suck it up, bitch.
Saturn: Do you ever wonder what the stars are?
Loki: The stars are the celestial homes of the gods, and they shine with their power.
Loki: Damn you're stupid.
Boy: Hahaha, look at that bee!
Boy: Oh shit, it saw me.
Man: Look at that dog.
Man: That fukken' dog.
Man: It makes me laugh, laugh my butt off.
45: Ghost Slapstick
46: Graphic Novel
Zebra-boy: This is a GRAPHIC NOVEL. It is VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS. It is NOT a 'comic'
Zebra-boy: It has a lot of words because it is EPIC. Everything about it is PERFECT so don't ever offer ANY criticism EVER.
Man: Comics are a visual medium.
Man: This is just going to be a joke about butts, isn't it?
Evo: (thinking) This job is great, so cushy! And I'm fantastic at it, too!
Jinx: Excuse me, can you tell me where-
Evo: I can't read.
Jinx: Uh... thanks.
Evo: No problem!
Boy: You can't trust Billy, he's a thief.
Billy: I stole a buttload of alcohol.
Man: Seems trustworthy enough to me.
51: Left Hand
Me: I am drawing with my left hand
Unicorn: Left hand
Narration: That was meant to be a unicorn.
52: Live Shot
53: Wrong Sense
Lady: (thinking) I sense something... wrong.
Cat 1: What should I do?
Cat 2: Do something.
Cat 1: Noooooo
Catbread: What is going on?
Catbread: Oh okay.
56: Wrong Sense 2
Lady: I sense something... wrong.
Lady: What the hell kind of army has a uniform with the midriff exposed?
Man: The best army, that's what.
Opposing force: En guarde!
Man: Oh shit, we surrender!
Narration: I ran out of ideas awhile ago, so presenting Dyaris! Deimi!
Narration: Now we will being the story* of how DHS world split 1,000 years ago or something
*but not finish
Narration: Actually, in the regular DHS world, Dharfi is the hero of this event.
Narration: And in the mirror world, Syrras the shapeshifter is.
Narration: But stuff them, I ain't writing that far in 40 3-cell comics
Lavender: I'm related to the story though. Albeit looking different.
Narration: Um... what was I up to?
Deimi: We're walking!
Deimi: We're adventurers or whatever!
Dyaris: Where are we going?
Deimi: To yonder town that is on fire. Wait, fire?
Dyaris: Should that town and forest be on fire?
Deimi: No! But they have a guardian so they should be fine.
Lavender: Argh! The guardian is also on fire!
Dyaris: Quick, let's go save everybody!
Lavender: Noo piss off, I have it under control!
Deimi: No. Also you're on fire.
Lavender: Whoops, the whole village died.
Deimi: You are the worst guardian ever.
Lavender: I must go and avenge my forest and village!
Lavender: Because it was attacked, you see.
Lavender: Do you see?
Deimi: Yes, stop whining. Gawd.
Dyaris: We are touched by your plight and will help you.
Deimi: Whoa whoa whoa. You can go with Lavender and 'touch her plight' or whatever.
Deimi: I'm going to stay here and loot.
Dyaris: I guess that makes me the main character.
Dyaris: Umm what are doing?
Lavender: I have a great nose, apparently.
Lavender: I can track down the chaos power that burned things by smell!
Dyaris: That sounds boring.
Lavender: Oh it will be.
Dyaris: Maybe something exciting will happen on the way.
Lavender: Oh! Like... I track the scent to a forest-town not unlike mine...
Lavender: But we are not welcome because
Rabbit: You're the worst guardian ever also I am a guardian so I know
Lavender: Mmyes, I am a genious [sic]
Rabbit: Yeah, you're not welcome here, loserface. Dyaris is though.
Lavender: But I have dangerous news- chaos Powers are going to kill you. I can totally help stop them though.
Rabbit: I don't trust you.
Lavender: But I'm awesome!
Rabbit: Okay I trust you.
Narration: And then they fight a lot of monsters who attack the forest-village.
Rabbit: We do?
Lavender: We do!
Lavender: And kick ass!
Narration: Presumably the Chaos Power gets away though.
Dyaris: One can't help but wonder what this has to do with the splitting of the world.
Lavender: Ssh we don't know about that yet.
Lavender: Okay we'd better go on tracking the bad guys.
Rabbit: I want to come too, killing monsters is badass.
Lavender: No, you are a not-sucky guadian so you still have to guard your forest.
Dyaris: I'm bored.
Lavender: Okay let's go tracking some more!!
Lavender: Oh look, it is a forest!
Dyaris: Who is insider?!
Lavender: It is another forest that has a guardian!!
Dyaris: Wow that's so original.
Lavender: The guardian of this place is forever chill though. And pocket-sized!
Dyaris: I don't care.
Lavender: Let me tell you what is happening.
Dog: No I already know. Unlike the rest of the guardians I am not a complete jackass right now.
Dog: Anyway I will fight monsters while you get that Chaos Power.
Dyaris: Hey Lavender, 'sup?
Lavender: I totally killed this Chaos Power and avenged my forest-village. Yay me!
Dyaris: Some main character I turned out to be.
Lavender: Oh Dyaris, thank you sooo much for helping me!
Dyaris: You're welcome, lady.
Lavender: I couldn't have done it without you!
Lavender: If I can ever do anything to repay you, please tell me!
Dyaris: Nah, I'm good.
Dyaris: Well, the first part of the story is over. I'd better go find Deimi somehow.
Dyaris: Though I haven't heard anything about the world splitting. Or met the 'heroes' that will fix things.
Dyaris: Deimi, Deimi! Where you at?
Dyaris: I found her!
Dyaris: Wait that's just a picture. Ooops.
Me: Dammit I really don't recall what happens next.
Deimi: Do I come back yet?
Me: Argh, sleep deprivation!
Me: No you don't. Go away. What the hell. Jesus.
Dyaris: Well, now we're wanted and stuff, I should find Deimi. Oh no she might be in trouble!
Bounty Hunter: Did you ever think you might be in trouble?
Dyaris: No because I'd totally kcik your bounty-hunting asses. Deimi is just a girl though.
Bounty Hunter: There are more bounty hunters.
Dyaris: Okay I'm gonna run for it.
Dyaris: Run run run. Oh crap, a scaler is in the way!
Dyaris: Dammit, I ran into you and failed escaping bounty hunters.
Syrras: Dammit, you ran into me and stopped me escaping from bounty hunters.
Dyaris: Wait you're escaping from bounty hunters too?
Syrras: Well, yes.
Bounty Hunter: She's a trickster, ey?
Syrras: No I'm not.
Dyaris: I don't care.
Dyaris: Okay, now there are two of us we can totally maim those bounty hunters.
Syrras: I'm scared.
Dyaris: So hi, I'm Dyaris and I totally saved your life.
Syrras: I'm Syrras.
Dyaris: I thought you said you wouldn't be in this.
Syrras: Yeah I know.
Dyaris: All right, I'm looking for my friend Deimi, have you seen her?
Syrras: No. Who's Deimi?
Dyaris: She's my friend. Will you come help me look for her?
Syrras: Nah, I'm good. See ya.
Dyaris: Ho hum, looking for Deimi on my own. Stupid bloody ingrate scaler. Where could Deimi be?
Dyaris: Ooh, I know! She could be with her sisters (whom I haven't mentioned)!
Dyaris: I should duck by their house and see if she is!
Dyaris: Hi Deimi's four sisters!
Sisters: Hi Dyaris.
Dyaris: There are four of you.
Sister: What do you want?
Dyaris: Have you seen Deimi?
Dyaris: Okay, bye!
Sisters: Rock, paper, scissors!
Sister: Okay Dyaris, I am going to kill you.
Sisters: Bye. We are going out for pizza.
Dyaris: Aah, stop killing me! Whhyyy?
Sister: I have to kill you - you're wanted by somebody great. So you know.
Dyaris: Oh, okay. Deimi is wanted too - will you kill her?
Sister: Yeah, when she shows up.
Dyaris: That's cold.
Dyaris: So who are we wanted by and what for?
Sister: You're wanted by some powerful dudes I shan't name, for burning down a village and kidnapping a child
Dyaris: Dude, that never happened.
Dyaris: Or did it?! No it never happened.
Deimi: Dyaris, did you just punch out my sister?
Dyaris: Yes. Wait, Deimi?
Deimi: 'sup broheim?
Dyaris: How long have you been there?
Deimi: Not telling.
Dyaris: ...is that a kid behind you?
Dyaris: Deimi, did you burn down a village and kidnap a child?
Deimi: Okay no, do you remember how I said I wanted to loot that burned village?
Deimi: Well anyway, I did it to find this kid here because I thought the guardian was seedy.
Jaeger: Hi, I'm Jaeger! My whole family died in the fire!
Dyaris: Since you have a lot of inexplicable knowledge, do you know who wants us?
Deimi: Not yet! Me and Jaeger have totally been looking though.
Deimi: Sure, why not.
Jaeger: My whooole family died.
Dyaris: All right, so what's the plan now?
Deimi: It isn't safe with us now, so um... I was gonna find some place safe to ditch Jaeger.
Jaeger: Nooooo! But I heart Deimi and everybody else I know is DEAD.
Deimi: Bitch bitch bitch gawd don't you ever stop whining?
Dyaris: Haha your family died.
Deimi: See I was gonna leave Jaeger with my sisters but then I remembered they're bitchfaces.
Dyaris: Well whatever we do, we should get out of here before slutty sister comes to or the other sisters return from getting pizza.
Deimi: Okay but I don't know where we shall go.
Dyaris: There is a small caravan of gypsies nearby - they won't know/care we're wanted.
Jaeger: In this story we call them 'traipses'.
Deimi: Hey, 'sup you dirty traipses?
Dyaris: We totally want to tag along with you fellas.
Traipse: Okay. You're not the first stranger to join our caravan. This is Dharfi!
Dyaris: I thought you said you wouldn't be in this.
Dharfi: I really don't think Merlin knows what's going on.
Dyaris: Travelling with traipses is fun!
Jaeger: We get to sing and dance and tell stories and eat and sleep!
Deimi: Also we fight the monsters that attack the caravan.
Dharfi: I help too but never say a word because I am mysterious.
Deimi: Hey you dirty traipse, what's happening?
Traipse: We're stopping in some large city.
Dyaris: Oh snap, we might get caught by somebdoy there.
Dharfi: Eh, I wouldn't worry about that.
Dharfi: I've been hired to catch you. Surprise!
Deimi: Oh god dammit.
Dyaris: Well, we aren't going in without a fight!
Dharfi: Sure thing! I'm hardcore enough to take you on.
Dyaris: Ah wait, you might know, who is after us?
Dharfi: Ahaha, I was hired by-
Deimi: La la la la la la can't hear you.
Deimi: Shut up, Dharfi.
Dyaris: What the hell, Deimi, she was gonna tell us who wants us.
Deimi: Beh, I already know. I don't want you to know though.
Dharfi: Let's fight!
Deimi: Look Dyaris, you'll find out in due time anyway. Dharfi is too strong for us.
Dharfi: Hellz yeah.
Deimi: Dyaris, take Jaeger and run, I'll keep Dharfi occupied.
Dyaris: But you'll get captured!
Deimi: Suck it up, bitch.
Dyaris: Argh now I'm on the lam and looking after a kid.
Jaeger: My whoole family died.
Dyaris: And my friend is in troubles oh no.
Dyaris: Damn, I hope Deimi is not particularly dead.
Jaeger: Me too, I heart Deimi!
Deimi: Damn Dharfi, you totally captured me. God I hate you so much. So much.
Dharfi: Well, my employer isn't around right now so I'm going to lock you in the dungeon of this castle we comandeered.
Deimi: Your employer is a liar and a tool. Just fyi.
Dharfi: Yeah forgive me if I don't take your word for it.
Deimi: Come on! I'm like, ten times more trustworthy than a nature power/guardian.
Deimi: Like Lavender, the lady who totally hired you. PLOT TWIST.
Syrras: Wow, what's you do to annoy a guardian?
Deimi: Nothing, they're crazy, man!
Deimi: Who the hell are you?
Syrras: I'm Syrras. I'm in jail for being a trickster.
Deimi: Wow, not something I would openly admit.
Deimi: I thought you said you wouldn't be in this... again.
Syrras: Ahaha it's the end of 40 comics and we still haven't heard a thing about the world splitting.